Humorian Dictionary of Needlewoman

Anonim

humor, hamster, joke

Hamster - Creative personality, the main passion of which was needlework. He is dedicated to all his free time and most of the cash in the wallet. Hamster is not only soft fur and large cheeks, it is also 30-40GB of pickled schemes, patterns, descriptions and pollock, and even the cabinet of sets and all sorts of needlework.

Flock Homyakov - The crowd in the "hot" theme of the forum, where a new scheme is heard or a picture of a new design is shown.

Atypical Khomyakoz - The virus distributed on the forum is extremely quickly mutating that it creates serious doubts about the opportunity to ever create a vaccine vaccine. Ethiology - begins with a forum hitting, pathogenesis - uncontrolled growth of schemes and descriptions in a computer and stocks in the closet, the result is the CSC clinic.

Acute Khomyakoz - Chronic disease, caused by an atypical hamskosis virus. Symptoms: all the time it seems that there are few schemes, namely these - (oh, horror!) There is no way! The diagnosis is not treated. Temporarily can help the following recipe: Tych schemes three times a day - in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, with a break for the main work and home affairs.

Nonable Hamster - Holding a large number of chests, handbags, boxes and boxes with "Bagacy", and pretending to move the husband's socks in the closet, because well, just on this and the new box with increments will rise.

Risk group "A newcomer who fell into the forum, a potential hamster, who has not yet aware of the whole horror of the hamster, but already looking at the scasta, and with awe discrepaning hamsters on the" mothers ".

Tyrnet - Human habitat area, a place where they feel free and calmly. With the temporary turning off of the tyrnette, the breaking begins (see acc. Article)

Till - Collect the schemes in the most unimaginable places of Tyrney, regardless of the language on which the site is made, and even to manage to ask the scheme in this very language. The side phenomenon arising from this is an unconditional understanding of all languages ​​of the world, including Chinese, Hebrew, Mumba-Yumba and the language of northern reindeer herders.

Sit on the needle - Drug addiction from embroidery, sewing, felting, the ability to create in any position, including lying, in all conditions, including automotive traffic jams, and in any condition, including sleep ...

Broken - Long break, associated with the need to work or do homemade.

Farm , it is - hamster stocks , it is - Browsting Motherland - hamster nests, holes and chests stuffed with all imaginable and unthinkable approxes, sets and threads. Frequently lovingly moved, smoothed by foot and sniff, warm soul hamster ...

Pribaambasi - All sorts of supplies and rods, including machines and frames, rags and needles, scissors such and scissors Syaky ... It seems to be not all needed, but let them be, they will suddenly need.

Overnight - Time of day, the most favorable for embroidery, when homemade is already sleeping, things are made and finally (oh, Lord!) To do your loved one.

Night in dosor - Night on the forum, in China or on other sites in search of new ideas.

Pinki - Friendly reproaches, cries, cribs and rims about the fact that you have not completed one of your works.

Gigantism - Passionate desire to create big works.

Toad - The worst enemy Homyak, leading to a deadly struggle for possession of a wallet. The battles of local significance are constantly and with varying success. Sometimes for incomprehensible reasons, the toad gives slack, and here for a hamster is the main thing - to hinder in time!

Tablets from greed - The drug from hamsterose, helps temporarily, at the very beginning of the disease, however, hamsters quickly arise immunity to the drug, after which the disease goes into a launched form.

Pattal lying - rapid heartbeat at the sight of new items.

Busty - Ready job, only made and decorated, well, very wanted taking offensive and listen to enthusiastic reviews of other hamsters

A vacuum cleaner - Ballery hamster, pest-Tihushnik, Tyrit dfich and nothing shares.

Go to underground - Sewing work to participate in the competition, without demonstrating it in the subject with processes, to comply with the anonymity and rules of the competition.

King of Koschey over Christose - Very sick hamster in the state of nervous excitement, which is in his wealth. At this moment it is not recommended to touch it, as it can turn into a tiger, and the consequences of this are unpredictable ...

Put on the needle - infect someone with embroidery, felting, sewing.

Let my hamster do not burst - So the hamster craves to replenish the reserve, and without this replenishment will begin breaking.

Throw in a hamster - give link / info / pr.

Do not give a hamster to die - To rescue the patient with a hamster, which means to throw something in a hamster something that replenishes its reserves or give / remind the link.

Go through It is not in the sense to drink extra, but lovingly to check the Khomyakovsky reserves.

Perezal - Of course, this is not about the gas tank in the car, but to update the non-working link.

Toad soul - The aggravation of the hamskosis during the breaking: when the physical possibilities of acquiring something do not coincide with the heels of hamster.

Oyryurpripline It is an imposition by one hamster to another hamster with his finished height, any of the hamsters can get to the distribution.

Process - It is not related to CPC and CCP. Operation on the transformation of the wand in Basthech.

Poprocessian - Tradition of the publicity process.

Waving pomponami - Virtual action produced by the fans of the process. Akin to kicks.

Homunism - Light hamster future, where Nishtyaki is on free.

Oven - Dish.

Machine - Make so that the rest of Nishtyakof is not enough.

Nishtyak - The basis of the world, the goal and the final meaning of life. An integral part of culture and life.

Move - Change the dislocation of nishtyacophobes.

Homatosis - The condition when a hamster is inadequate due to excessive absorption of nishtyakov, or unnecessary sleep / inacre.

(Found on the Internet and a little redone)

Well, finally, a little humor:

"Make a guy with a girl on a disco:

- Girl, are you dancing?

- Dance, sing, dance ...

- What do you touch?!

- Plet, knit, embroider with a cross ... "

***

The World Competition for Knitting: Grandmother from Ukraine related socks, grandmother from Japan tied an iPhone, grandmother from Holland could not associate two words, and grandmother from the Caucasus tied all grandparents and demands a redemption.

***

The wife sits, embroiders. Her husband asks her:

- How much will it be 1398 to divide in half?

- Green - the wife answers.

***

Report of the head of the clinic security service and in particular chambers number 6:

(excerpt from text)

"... Controlled entities behave according to the development stage of the hamiicosis. In some marked the symptoms of winter hooks, which will allow the attending staff to slightly reduce the costs of their treatment. From part of the observed Khomyakosis in the stratum of remission. They are contraindicated to look into the tyrnet windows to satisfy curiosity. They are categorically contraindicated to visiting such clinic departments as "Basther", "new in embroidery" "What are the craftsmen" and they are similar. They are unacceptable walking and excursions to Tyrinet and real shops with sewing and embroidered assortments. Especially it is necessary to note the sharp deterioration of the state of some Of the observed. They were likened to Somnambulam, react only to embroidery terminology, as well as strange words like: DMS, Gamma, Bustor, Kitcher, Khachushushka, Yarn ... Their reaction is inadequate: sharp convulsive movements towards Tyrney, attempts through a window or with I wash off the excursion to the embroidery shops.

The dreams are accompanied by nonsense with incoherent shouts:

- Stick (a history of problems with a young man)

- Distribution (a history of work at the construction site)

- Bust (apparently, alcohol problems)

- Take me (obviously sado-masochistic inclinations)

- Do not burst a hamster from the increment (probably a veterinarian in the past)

- Give the needle (narcotic dependence)

As well as absolutely non-analyzes such as: blind scheme (sometimes killed), turnip, comment, puff, planted on the needle and so on.

Humorian Dictionary of Needlewoman

Humorian Dictionary of Needlewoman

A merchant is going for the three seas. Asks daughters:

- What hotels will bring you, my childhood daughters?

- Bring me, Batyushka, Laman! - Senior polly.

- Dychtura, or what?

- No, father. Leaf. Oval to draw. And ruler logarithmic.

- How many centimeters, daughter?

- no difference, father. Do you remember?

- I remember, senior. And what to bring to you, my average daughter?

- And me, father, tester bring.

- Sugari fry?

- Yes, not toaster, father, but tester. The device is so. Measuring. With wires, clamps. Before kiloma. And electronic do not take. Old want. He is familiar with me.

"Oh," the father sighed, "and you bring you, younger?"

...

- And I, Patushka, bring the mill milling. And also - electrolovka, Bulgarian, Boshevsky perforator and electrical welding Compact. And the electrodes are not lucky, I am on a construction site.

- Yo Mama! Father twisted. - You are women! You are on issuing! Figs you, not an electrolovka! You lourncil, lipstick, and you, younger - lipstick, nail polish and the magazine "Cosmopolitan".

And for now I will not be embroidered with a cross! Clear? Fences do not build, do not dig ditch, do not chop firewood. God god daughters ...

Humorian Dictionary of Needlewoman

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